my b-day cake my nanny made me! it was bright pink with a teddy bear on it and i tried to eat it. same with my brother as we were both born on the same day but two years diffrence. then we had a wee party and i got a babie doll from my boyfriend at the time. i think i was 7? lol
awwww

o yeh.. here is my unfinished back ink medical stuff to be added plus more candy!!



just basic outline and basic colour! my back looks soooo FAT!!! pete got well close!!!

WOOO m going =D petes comming with me James Thorpe is taking me so yeh. gunna be working with some really great togs. gothx is one ive been wanting to work with for ages! just got to think of easy outfits to get in and out of and make p that looks good with all=D

it nervous really to be honest.

leanne i take it i shall be seeing u laydee???

just had an email from bizzare mag. gunna be in the next issue wkd.

Feeling VERY down today and very out of it.
Im particually affending with how i try to make a go of friendships and people just take the piss. This isnt just with one person its with many,and to be honest im pretty fucking fed up of it. From now on i wont make an effort in communication with you unless you actually mean something to me and i know i do with you. I think its only fair maybe its just a hint for me to fuck off?
good bye have a nice life.
Alot of things today have really fucked me off. Not just the above that shelley feels weird around me but the fact that i feel so low and fat and urgh about myself YEt a fuckin gain,after feeling so good about myself and actually starting to like what ive become. obviously im just not as good as i thought i was and maybe i am just a tosser.

Therefore miss plum you end up on your own yet again.

Sounds awesome.

went to sleep after eating a fucking gorgeous meal pete made, we watched 7 hours of jonathan creek!! and fell asleep.

THE FIRST DREAM!!
i was in some kinda of house with my closest friends, shelley,pete,panda,jordon, and i think someone else was there and the rest was a blur. well we done what we normally do at a weekend. we got wasted. then panda was driving me in his car. in some sort of forsest where there was a shabby looking house, which turned into a shop. so he went in because he wanted something to eat. there was a man in the shop serving him with dreads and pretty scary looking. so i went to the car and wait. then all of a suddern i was in a room. screaming out that someone was comming to get me. then  this man was trying to take me away from the house. and i was screaming 'someone help me hes going to take me away' nobody cared. amnd i woke up screaming and crying.

SECOND DREAM!

I cant really remember it very well but i was in petes room and he was at work. then panda called me and told me that everyone was going to Karly's house for cocktails:S. and I wasnt invited because Karly didnt want me there. shelley me panda and someone else was in the care when he was driving me to my house, i was in the front sniffing coke, with shelley behind me telling me how much ive messed up petes life and how she wish i wasnt in hers.  panda and me were then in my room where there was a massive bed which i dont have and then my mum went out, but it didtnt look like my mum at all. a thin lady with white hair and a really distorted face. she called up the stairs saying ho w she wish i was dead and how i make everyones lives a misery. just before i woke up with floods of tears on my face i could also see loads of people inn a crowd shouting at me =(

these dreams have made me feel very strange and things. i dont know how to feel today. i jsut hope these dont mean anything =( i know at the moment its less than days till christmas and im so very worried abotu the actual day. its going to be the worst day of my life, to which some wont understand why. theres so many reasons and so many reasons i just want to be fucked in my room with a bottle of wine and to be on my own. i just want to be away from everyone on that day. to be left right alone and not to see or tallk to anyone. i wish there was a aplace i could go. sit and be alone wasted out of my face thinking about happy things being in my own little world,which i can only enter. why cant there be a place like this. the only place i can kinda of imagin like this is being high. pathetic maybe but i cant explain the feeling i have right now. i just want it to go away. imeven scared to fall asleep tonight because of these horrible dreams. =(


on a lighter note. just been to town for petes lunch break and i tried on this VERY sexeh corset which im going to get my gran or brother to buy me.
toybox gig on saturday people with the undercover sluts <3

FRIENDS ONLY. 

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